TANGO_ Lee Eun Ah (Award of Excellence)
2011.08.20. 09:26
It is the season making me yearn for the fragrant coffee aroma.
It is also the season making me think about a book that warms my heart.
Autumn, the season of reading, has already passed. The first snow is falling, signifying the coming of winter, and the cold air is chilling the tip of my nose. As if wanting to hold on to the fleeting autumn season, I decide to read a book.
The reason that I chose this particular book comes from my curiosity about the author.
The author of this book is the actress GHS.
When I see her on TV, she has such round eyes with pretty features, basically an adorable actress.
Then, one day, I hear that she has directed a short film, followed by the publication of her illustrated fiction, and yet again followed by a musical composition CD. I thought that she is already talented enough in acting. I was very surprised to find out that she has so much more intense passion in so many other types of work. So, I became curious. What would the novel written by her would be like…
I was impressed by the phrase on the front cover of the book: A love story like espresso.
Let me first tell you the story of the heroin, Yun.
Yun likes the taste of sweet cocoa. She does not care for coffee and she does not like cigarettes. She has never experienced any pain and she pursues the perfect life devoid of mistakes and failures. She believes that happiness can exist in her life. In order to manifest that Idealistic pursuit, she tries her hardest and the best in everything. In contrast, her boyfriend is Kang Jong Woon. He believes in the Reality of coffee and cigarettes. Often he drinks to the point of being plastered.
Jong Woon is a Realist who believes that alternating cycle of sadness and pain occur in the sweet happiness.
Yun cannot understand JongWoon’s views and Jong Woon wants to teach or show Yun the Reality of life.
This opposite couple lives or dances the Tango while stepping on each other’s feet and yet tolerating the pain that they give to each other. Eventually their clashes lead to a breakup. Yun comes face to face with the moment that she never thought she would ever experience.
This is her very first experience of breakup, depression and failure. This unfamiliar hardship is intolerable to her. Slowly, she acquaints herself with the Reality. Through this painful experience occurring in her 20’s, she awakens her eyes to the stark Reality. She dabbles into all the things that Jong Woon tried to indoctrinate her---coffee, cigarette and even alcohol. No matter how much she may have wanted to deny it, she gradually accepts that she is not exempt from painful breakups and its slow-to-end, agonizing, emotional after effects. Yun’s first love was as thick and bitter as a cup of espresso.
Then, two new men enter into her life. One is MinYoung who has the power of social status and wealth. The other one is ShiHoo who is an average office worker who is in pursuit of his individual dreams. He is a dreamer and an Idealist. After just two meetings, Min Young proposes marriage to Yun. MinYoung’s actions only bring confusion to Yun.
ShiHoo hangs around Yun like a friend and at times like a lover. She feels comfortable with him. Yun sees Min Young who can offer her all the security to face the Reality. She sees ShiHoo who so resembles her in many ways as the pure-at-heart or an Idealist. The two men who are so distinctive from each other tries to get close to Yun. However, Yun hesitates starting a new relationship after having ended a painful one. Initially she sways towards MinYoung, In the end, she chooses ShiHoo who shares similar thoughts and ideals.
However, Yun struggles with her feelings about ShiHoo as she is not sure if what she feels is friendship, admiration or love. Through it all, they end up confirming their love for each other. Yun and ShiHoo’s love is like the sweet cocoa that is pure and genuine.
Unfortunately, such happiness does not last long for both. ShiHoo’s sudden death leads Yun to experience yet another Reality of loss and goodbye. Yun analyzes her time with ShiHoo. She realizes that both Reality and Idealism/Purity existed at the same time and same space of their love for each other. Yun had to continue to live the Reality without ShiHoo. But Yun finds that now the Reality for her is not filled with sadness and pain. Rather, she lives the Reality that has happiness and joy from doing small and normal average things everyday.
I am also in my 20’s. As I read this book, I think about Reality and Love in my own life. I also think about Purity/ Idalism.
Yun struggles in the middle of the spectrum of Reality and Idealism/Purity through the three loves that she experiences.
Everybody on this earth would also do the same thing. They will think about how much have they been Pure and how much they have been Realistic. The novel’s heroin Yun has been Pure. That is why when she realized and had to face the Reality, she felt even more overwhelmed and confused.
This is written in the book.
Because we are Pure, we struggle within ourselves. I wonder just how much did I really struggle and consider things. How much am I really Pure? I wonder if I merely opened my eyes to the espresso-like Reality way too soon. I like coffee. I even like its thick aroma and its bitter taste…I guess that means I already am submerged in the Reality? And, I am pretty sure that I am living in this Reality as if it is the norm like a habit.
It is written in the novel: Love is like Tango.
If we are not in step with our partners as in the dance of Tango, we could easily be stepping on their feet and hurting them. I could definitely relate to that.
Do we really know if we are in step with our loved ones while dancing the Tango of love?
I think about whether my love and I are enjoying each other in the Tango.
Or, am I dancing the Tango leaving many scars like Yun and JongWoon did to each other.
Of course, we cannot be always happy and joyful in love.
However, neither can love be always painful like the couple who cannot Tango in step with each other.
Could it be possible that we have been submerged in the Reality all this time and that is why we are feeling so conflicted and lost with ourselves?
I really wonder if we have forgotten too soon or hardly have given chance to Purity/Idealism (i.e.being true to ourselves in spite of the norm) and just accepted and lived in the Reality.
I have made a resolution to rediscover and believe in the Purity/Idealism once again.
Like the memory of first love where I could not sleep into the dawn and my heart was beating with excitement….
Source: cafe daum via DC KHS
Tranlsation: cheerkoo@soompi
cre:MINSUN
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